Reflections of Paul
teenage mutant ninja turtles, flashlight tag in camoflouge, climbing trees, building tree houses in the woods, street hockey, the most obvious missing front teeth ever, growing up with Dave, backyard ball games–foolball, soccer, baseball, my Dad yelling \”nice catch Red\”, red hair, red wirey hair, red wirey thick hair, tiny tots soccer, coaching Paul and Dave with Chuck, coaching against Paul\’s team and knowing he was one of the kids who could beat us, scouts, family camp, tipping sailboats at family camp, 8 & 10 year olds playing poker on the top bunk at family camp with tootsie rolls, Halloween, collecting candy in a pillow case because nothing else was big enough to hold all that he could collect from that much real estate, dumping all the candy on Mattie B\’s family room floor and trading, hustle, desire, passion for the game and for life, sand soccer, boys with 5 pounds of sand in their socks, sprinting full speed back to save a breakaway and somehow turning 180 degrees and kicking the ball upfield 40 yards–all in one step, making sure the opposing striker knew who won that ball, not taking any lip from the opposing players, talking more smack than the entire other team, watching one of the league\’s dominant sweepers turn into one of the league\’s dominant strikers, a hard-hitting middle school linebacker putting the hurt on opposing running backs, taking one of Cox\’s future stars to the wire in middle school wrestling, playing hurt but not hurting, lookin\’ mighty fine going to prom, winner, great and loyal friend, lover of Christ.

These memories are a gift that God has given to us because we have known and loved Paul. He is with God now, in His presence and witnessing His glory, and we are blessed to have had our time with Paul. Paul is especially blessed to have this time with Jesus. – Paul Schmidt

Paul\’s favorites
surfing
body boarding
snow boarding
camp silver beach
playing the guitar
soccer
hanging out with friends
jack johnson
sublime
311
boy scouts…not sure he would tell you though!
his cell phone
climbing anything and everything
sarcasm
christmas
his room and his nasty blanket
family

Jeremiah 29:11-14
\”For surely I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans for your welfare and not for harm, plans to give you a hope and a future. Then when you call upon me and come and pray to me, I will hear you. When you search for me, you will find me, if you seek me with all your heart, I will let you find me…\”

Max Lucado
\”Jesus humbled Himself
He went from commanding angels
To sleeping in the straw.
From holding stars
To clutching Mary\’s finger,
The palm that held the
Universe took the nail of a soldier.
Why?
Because that\’s what love does.\”

Hold Fast by Mercy Me
To everyone who\’s hurting
To those who\’ve had enough
To all the undeserving
That should cover all of us
Please do not let go
I promise there is hope

Hold fast
Help is on the way
Hold fast
He\’s come to save the day
What I\’ve learned in my life
One thing greater than my strife
Is His grasp
So hold fast
Will this season ever pass?
Can we stop this ride?
Will we see the sun at last?
Or could this be our lot in life?
Please do not let go
I promise you there\’s hope

You may think you\’re all alone
And there\’s no way that anyone could know
What you\’re going through
But if you only hear one thing
Just understand that we are all the same
Searching for the truth
The truth of what we\’re soon to face
Unless someone comes to take our place
Is there anyone?
All we want is to be free
Free from our captivity, Lord
Here He comes

\”Natures Path\”
Along this cycling path
Full of death and heartache
Examples of Gods wrath
In which there is no mistake
Only an invisible plan
Without the ones you love
A job not done by an ordinary man
For he invites earth\’s angels up above
To Walk with him hand in hand.

By: Adam Tatem

\”This Storm\” by Casting Crowns
I was sure by now
God You would have reached down
And wiped our tears away
And stepped in and saved the day
Once again, I say Amen, and it is still raining

As the thunder rolls
I barely hear you whisper through the rain
I\’m with you
As your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away

I\’ll Praise you in this storm
And I will lift my hands
You are who you are
No matter where I am
And every tear I\’ve cried
You hold in your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will Praise You in this storm

I remember when
I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry
You raised me up again
My strength is almost gone
How can I carry on
If I can\’t find you

I lift my eyes into the hills
Where does my help come from
My help comes from the Lord
The maker of heaven and earth.

John 14: 1-4
1\”Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God[a]; trust also in me.
2 In my Father\’s house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you.
3 And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am.
4 You know the way to the place where I am going.\”

Nancy Cashman
A tear,
A drop of sorrow,
That washes away pain,
And leaves the body,
Never to return.

Excerpts of Shakespeare\’s Hamlet and the Orthodox liturgy.
Alleluia. May flights of angels sing thee to thy rest. Remember me O Lord, when you come into your kingdom. Give rest O Lord to your servant, who has fallen asleep. The choir of saints have found the well-spring of life, and door of paradise. Life: a shadow and a dream. Weeping at the grave creates the song: Alleluia. Come, enjoy rewards and crowns I have prepared for you.

IN LOVING MEMORY, By Thresiamma Abraham
Don\’t greive for me, for now I\’m free,
I\’m following the path God laid for me,
I took His hand when I heard his call,
I turned my back and left it all.
I could not stay another day,
To laugh, to love, to work or play.
Tasks left undone must stay that way.
I\’ve found that peace at the close of the day.
If my parting has left a void,
Then fill it with remembered joy.
A friendship shared, a laugh, a kiss,
Ah, yes, these things I too will miss.
Be not burdened with times of sorrow,
I wish you the sunshine of tomorrow.
My life\’s been full, I savored much,
Good friends, good times, a loved one\’s touch.
Perhaps my time seemed all too brief,
Don\’t lengthen it now with undue grief.
Lift up your hearts and share with me,
God wanted me now, He set me free.

Luke 23:43
\”And Jesus said to him, \’Assuredly I say to you,today you will be with me in Paradise.\’ \”

Anonymous
We\’ll think of you often
and make no outward show,
But what it means to lose you,
no one will ever know
You wished no one farewell,
not even said good-bye,
You were gone before we knew it,
and only God knows why.
You are not forgotten
nor will you ever be,
As long as life and memories last,
we will remember thee.
To some you may be forgotten,
to others a part of the past,
But to those who loved you dearly,
your memories will always last.
Nothing can be more beautiful
than the memories we have of you.
To us, you were someone special,
God must have thought so too!
If tears could build a staircase
and memories a lane,
we\’d would walk all the way to Heaven,
and bring you back again.

\’All Is Well\’
Death is nothing at all,
I have only slipped into the next room
I am I and you are you
Whatever we were to each other, that we are still.
Call me by my old familiar name,
Speak to me in the easy way which you always used
Put no difference in your tone,
Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow
Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes we enjoyed together.
Play, smile, think of me, pray for me.
Let my name be ever the household word that it always was,
Let it be spoken without effect, without the trace of shadow on it.
Life means all that it ever meant.
It is the same as it ever was, there is unbroken continuity.
Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight?
I am waiting for you, for an interval, somewhere very near,
Just around the corner.
All is well.

By Henry Scott Holland (1847-1918)
Canon of St Paul\’s Cathedral

Friend Betty Gibbs, September 2007
I\’ll be thinking of you all,
And especially Paul,
When you meet in September
To smile and remember
A joyous young man
With a shortened life span.

Your memories will last
As you think of the past,
That red hair and smile
Having fun all the while,
Always doing his best,
And living life with zest—
And now he\’s at rest.

Paul’s Fundraiser has been postponed!

Big Day #1 is: Tuesday, May 12th at 4:30 p.m.

Soccer Fundraiser and Senior Night

…same place, same time, same awesome prizes for the drawings, same entertainment (thank you!), great food! Come join us!

Big Day #2

Savannah’s Bar and Grill

Wednesday, May 13th, 6-9 p.m. We will be handing out flyers Tuesday night. Remember that you must have the flyer for the money to go to Paul’s scholarship fund!

Call if you have questions:

Cindy 482.3054 or 630.3898

Dear Family and Friends,
Happy February! Here we are in the second month of 2009 and nearing Valentine’s Day. The last time I wrote on CaringBridge was during the Christmas holidays. Ours was a tender Christmas filled with joy and pain, laughter and tears, children and adults, time here in Chesapeake and time in Memphis. We were blessed to have Hillary, Jeff, and the children here and to enjoy the time with Emily and Ella still living in our home…what I call “Our Family Home”. Matt, Emily’s fiancé and his son, Devin were her whenever they could be.

We carried on the same traditions that have blessed us since we first had children, and we put up our “Paul Harris” Christmas tree for the 3rd holiday season. We shared gifts, church services, family and friends’ time, and memories. The little ones brought us smiles and laughter…joy…and plenty of “Kodak Moments”. Our hearts were full as we once again opened the gifts Hillary, Jeff, and Emily placed in Paul’s stocking. This year they gave us 3 pewter ornaments, each on a word…Grace…Peace…Believe. These words speak or our hearts and where we are in our journey without Paul. We shared letters to one another, one from the girls and their families and one from us.

Each year we give a gift to person or organization which has touched our lives or Paul’s, the “Paul gift”. Chuck and I gave our gift for Paul to the Eastern Virginia Food Bank. This is where we volunteered last year on September 20th in memory of Paul and where Paul volunteered several times for the Boy Scouts when he was growing up. We knew that they were in critical need, so we felt it appropriate to give this gift.

Here we are in 2009, winter winds are blowing and the temperatures are colder than usual. We begin this year with hope… Emily and Matt will be married on May 16th, hope for a new family. We will gain a new son and a new grandson, Devin. Paul would love Matt and Devin. They have many common interests, as did he and his brother-in-law, Jeff. We have hope for the Paul C. Harris Great Bridge High School Fundraiser which will be held in May. That hope is that we will have a great event and raise enough money to help a graduating senior with his or her college education. We have hope that Paul’s memory will live on in our lives, and that he is resting comfortably in the arms of Jesus.

We hope that you will check Paul’s web site: www.paulcharris13.org. Feel free to leave a memory of Paul, a thought, or a bit of wisdom on CaringBridge and/or on Paul’s web site.

God bless you all in 2009
Cindy
In loving memory of Paul

December 23th

Here we are, rushing around, finishing the last minute shopping, wrapping presents, planning menus for the Christmas feasts, listening to carols, making “Merry Christmas” calls, laughing, playing with the children, and watching our favorite Christmas movies. Life is busy, rushed, and stressed as “the big day” nears. Christmas Day is almost here, with all the commercialism and hype, all the worrying about gifts, baking, and preparation.

Hillary and her children, Morgan and Gracelyn have been here since Friday. Our son-in-law, Jeff arrived today. Emily and Ella live here so they have been a part of the busyness of the season all fall. I sit at the computer tonight thinking about all I have to do tomorrow and how behind I am and suddenly I stop…why do we worry so? Does it make any difference if all the gifts aren’t bought or wrapped? Who cares if we don’t bake a ton of Christmas cookies…or if the house isn’t perfect and clean?

Today I ran into several friends as I rushed around shopping for groceries and the last minute gifts. We stopped and gave out hugs or called out a “Merry Christmas”! I joked with a friend as we rushed out the door to our families about her carrying her own groceries out instead of asking for help (and she had a loaded cart!). I called several friends to tell them that I am grateful for them and to wish them and their families “Merry Christmas”. The hugs and the comments I received were filled with love and compassion. I see it in their eyes and feel it in their hugs. I hear it in their voices…they are saying that they are with me, with our family, as we face another Christmas holiday without Paul. Some come right out and say it…”I am thinking about you all as you celebrate without Paul”. “I am praying for you.” Some avoid us or can’t call because they don’t know what to say. Most try hard to understand that the hole in our hearts will never heal, but we will find the grace in this new life we now live. We will celebrate Christmas!

December 24th…Christmas Eve

I am grateful for the hustle and bustle of the holidays. Memories of Christmases past linger; and I remember when our children were young and innocent and life seemed carefree. The memories return and renew my spirit. Time seems to repeat itself and here we are with little ones in our lives again. I marvel at the looks of wonder and amazement when they see Santa or talk about baby Jesus. Our home is warm and comfortable, Christmas carols are playing as we wrap gifts and scurry around putting the finishing touches on Christmas brunch so tomorrow morning it will all be ready to pop in the oven. We go to the family service at church where we sing, pray, and listen to the children’s choir perform. My heart is full, but sad as I remember Paul’s singing as a little boy in the children’s choir. We just saw online that Santa is getting close to the United States, so we write our last notes to Santa, place chocolate chip cookies and carrots for the reindeer on a plate for his snack, and then it is off to bed for the little ones! This year we have Hillary, Jeff, and Emily all here wrapping and putting out the gifts for Christmas morning. It is such a pleasure seeing them as parents preparing for their children’s Christmas. How I wish Paul was here with us to join in the fun.

December 25th…Christmas Day 2008

The weather is mild, spirits are high…gifts are scattered around the family room, and smiles abound. We have finished the “great opening” and now we sit drinking coffee and waiting for the last gifts, Paul’s stocking and the red envelope on the Christmas tree. Hillary, Jeff, and Emily vowed to take care of Paul’s stocking each year. This year there are 3 silver ornaments and the traditional orange in the toe. The ornaments are words: Peace, Believe, and Grace. They are accompanied by three messages from the family. I think I will place them in a shadow box to share with others…messages of hope and love.

Chuck and I have chosen to give a donation to the Southeastern Virginia Food Bank in Paul’s memory. He volunteered there with the Boy Scouts, and we worked there as a family on September 20th this year to honor Paul on the anniversary of the day he died. The food bank is hurting for donations, so we will donate to honor our son. Perhaps we can do a little something to help a family who is struggling and needs food to put on their table.

As we celebrate this Christmas, my heart goes out to other families who have lost children. I pray that these families may find the same grace and hope in their lives that we have. My heart breaks for all of us who miss our sons and daughters and for whom life will never be the same. My prayer is that we will find the spirit of Christmas in our hearts and that God will bless us and our families with the miracle of Christ’s birth.

I believe more than ever that the reason for the season truly is Jesus Christ and the miracle of His birth. It sounds so simple, but the message is profound. God sent this tiny baby who was born over 2000 years ago to fulfill prophecy, to save us from our sins, and to give us hope in life eternal. Now that is THE reason to celebrate Christmas! Jesus truly is the best Christmas gift, a gift chosen and purchased by God for us, wrapped up in swaddling clothes, and placed in the manger with two young parents chosen to love and raise him. This is truly the best gift, better than any we could buy at a store, order online, or make ourselves! Jesus is the gift of all gifts! One of Paul’s friends told me on the first Christmas without him, “We know that because God sent His son Jesus to earth, we will see Paul again.” Words of hope as we celebrate the Christmas season…Merry Christmas to all of you.

Cindy

How crazy it is that he would have been 21 today. It makes me feel really old!!! : ) I think of all the fun birthday parties that he had and how much he loved picking out and making his birthday cake when he was younger. And as he got older he would kind of just grunt and say yeah…it\’s my birthday but you knew that he was excited. And knowing Paul, I\’m sure today would have been celebrated BIG time like many of us did. We still celebrate this day and I know that I think back to the day he was born and how it snowed that day…I can\’t remember it ever snowing in VA in November after that. A fluke! Maybe it was just that way because Paul came in with a bang! And then he did everything with a bang from there on out. That was our Paul!!!

To celebrate not only his birthday but continue the celebration of his life, we now have a memorial website for Paul.

It is www.paulcharris13.org.

Take some time and visit it! It will be a website that will evolve over the years. It will be the place that we post information related to events for his scholarship and endowment as well as a site where we can just keep his memory alive. If you have photos or video clips that you would like to see on it, please send them to hhtaylor44@aol.com or to charris858@aol.com. And if you have any stories or memories you would like to share on the site, please send them as well. We are so thankful to the person that helped make this happen for us! They are amazing and are so generous and caring!

We will continue updating CaringBridge for a while but soon we will start making updates solely on Paul\’s website. When we do, we will let you know.

In closing, on this Veteran\’s Day – Paul\’s birthday – I say thank you to those who have served and who do serve our country and I say Happy Birthday to my little brother in heaven – I love you!

This week has in some ways been harder than I thought it would be, but then again I should have expected the emotional waves to run high again, shouldn\’t I? The past two years I have pictured myself watching the waves of emotion, waiting and ready with my “body board”. I sometimes see the waves growing huge, coming at me like the great waves on the North Shore in Hawaii. I must jump on my body board and ride the waves, holding on and allowing the healing water to flow over me. If I don’t go for the ride, then I will get caught in the rip current of emotion and be pulled under.

Today was the two year anniversary of Paul’s passing. The waves of emotion were strong again, but we chose to ride them as a family honoring Paul’s memory and rejoicing in the blessings we have been given. We started early this morning by volunteering at the Southeastern Virginia Food Bank. We all went: Hillary, Jeff, Emily, Matt, Chuck and me. We worked hard…for others in memory of Paul. Hillary baked a ton of cookies this afternoon and I organized things for the evening picnic at the beach. Jeff, Matt, Emily, and Chuck worked at the soccer field cleaning up around the Paul Harris memorial, putting down fresh top soil and mulch.

Tonight we enjoyed the 2nd annual memorial picnic at the beach. The winds were too strong to have a candlelight time, but we celebrated Paul’s life with some of his favorite things: family, faithful friends, beautiful evening skies, the roar of the ocean, music, and tons of yummy food! About 50 people joined us sharing stories and memories of Paul, laughing and savoring each other’s companionship. We supported one another on a tough day. We loved each other and shared support as we each rode our own waves of emotion.

Tomorrow we will go to the cemetery and see the monument which was put into place on Thursday. It is another piece that is finished.

It is truly all about God’s mercy and grace shining through the darkness of sorrow. I could feel His presence as I watched the clouds racing by in the strong winds, as I listened to the laughter and chatter of friends and family, and as we prayed for our son whom we miss so much. I miss him so…always, but I am blessed. God has allowed me to see the stars shining in the darkness.

Cindy
In honor of my amazing family
In loving memory of Paul