Category Archives: Updates

December 23th

Here we are, rushing around, finishing the last minute shopping, wrapping presents, planning menus for the Christmas feasts, listening to carols, making “Merry Christmas” calls, laughing, playing with the children, and watching our favorite Christmas movies. Life is busy, rushed, and stressed as “the big day” nears. Christmas Day is almost here, with all the commercialism and hype, all the worrying about gifts, baking, and preparation.

Hillary and her children, Morgan and Gracelyn have been here since Friday. Our son-in-law, Jeff arrived today. Emily and Ella live here so they have been a part of the busyness of the season all fall. I sit at the computer tonight thinking about all I have to do tomorrow and how behind I am and suddenly I stop…why do we worry so? Does it make any difference if all the gifts aren’t bought or wrapped? Who cares if we don’t bake a ton of Christmas cookies…or if the house isn’t perfect and clean?

Today I ran into several friends as I rushed around shopping for groceries and the last minute gifts. We stopped and gave out hugs or called out a “Merry Christmas”! I joked with a friend as we rushed out the door to our families about her carrying her own groceries out instead of asking for help (and she had a loaded cart!). I called several friends to tell them that I am grateful for them and to wish them and their families “Merry Christmas”. The hugs and the comments I received were filled with love and compassion. I see it in their eyes and feel it in their hugs. I hear it in their voices…they are saying that they are with me, with our family, as we face another Christmas holiday without Paul. Some come right out and say it…”I am thinking about you all as you celebrate without Paul”. “I am praying for you.” Some avoid us or can’t call because they don’t know what to say. Most try hard to understand that the hole in our hearts will never heal, but we will find the grace in this new life we now live. We will celebrate Christmas!

December 24th…Christmas Eve

I am grateful for the hustle and bustle of the holidays. Memories of Christmases past linger; and I remember when our children were young and innocent and life seemed carefree. The memories return and renew my spirit. Time seems to repeat itself and here we are with little ones in our lives again. I marvel at the looks of wonder and amazement when they see Santa or talk about baby Jesus. Our home is warm and comfortable, Christmas carols are playing as we wrap gifts and scurry around putting the finishing touches on Christmas brunch so tomorrow morning it will all be ready to pop in the oven. We go to the family service at church where we sing, pray, and listen to the children’s choir perform. My heart is full, but sad as I remember Paul’s singing as a little boy in the children’s choir. We just saw online that Santa is getting close to the United States, so we write our last notes to Santa, place chocolate chip cookies and carrots for the reindeer on a plate for his snack, and then it is off to bed for the little ones! This year we have Hillary, Jeff, and Emily all here wrapping and putting out the gifts for Christmas morning. It is such a pleasure seeing them as parents preparing for their children’s Christmas. How I wish Paul was here with us to join in the fun.

December 25th…Christmas Day 2008

The weather is mild, spirits are high…gifts are scattered around the family room, and smiles abound. We have finished the “great opening” and now we sit drinking coffee and waiting for the last gifts, Paul’s stocking and the red envelope on the Christmas tree. Hillary, Jeff, and Emily vowed to take care of Paul’s stocking each year. This year there are 3 silver ornaments and the traditional orange in the toe. The ornaments are words: Peace, Believe, and Grace. They are accompanied by three messages from the family. I think I will place them in a shadow box to share with others…messages of hope and love.

Chuck and I have chosen to give a donation to the Southeastern Virginia Food Bank in Paul’s memory. He volunteered there with the Boy Scouts, and we worked there as a family on September 20th this year to honor Paul on the anniversary of the day he died. The food bank is hurting for donations, so we will donate to honor our son. Perhaps we can do a little something to help a family who is struggling and needs food to put on their table.

As we celebrate this Christmas, my heart goes out to other families who have lost children. I pray that these families may find the same grace and hope in their lives that we have. My heart breaks for all of us who miss our sons and daughters and for whom life will never be the same. My prayer is that we will find the spirit of Christmas in our hearts and that God will bless us and our families with the miracle of Christ’s birth.

I believe more than ever that the reason for the season truly is Jesus Christ and the miracle of His birth. It sounds so simple, but the message is profound. God sent this tiny baby who was born over 2000 years ago to fulfill prophecy, to save us from our sins, and to give us hope in life eternal. Now that is THE reason to celebrate Christmas! Jesus truly is the best Christmas gift, a gift chosen and purchased by God for us, wrapped up in swaddling clothes, and placed in the manger with two young parents chosen to love and raise him. This is truly the best gift, better than any we could buy at a store, order online, or make ourselves! Jesus is the gift of all gifts! One of Paul’s friends told me on the first Christmas without him, “We know that because God sent His son Jesus to earth, we will see Paul again.” Words of hope as we celebrate the Christmas season…Merry Christmas to all of you.

Cindy

How crazy it is that he would have been 21 today. It makes me feel really old!!! : ) I think of all the fun birthday parties that he had and how much he loved picking out and making his birthday cake when he was younger. And as he got older he would kind of just grunt and say yeah…it\’s my birthday but you knew that he was excited. And knowing Paul, I\’m sure today would have been celebrated BIG time like many of us did. We still celebrate this day and I know that I think back to the day he was born and how it snowed that day…I can\’t remember it ever snowing in VA in November after that. A fluke! Maybe it was just that way because Paul came in with a bang! And then he did everything with a bang from there on out. That was our Paul!!!

To celebrate not only his birthday but continue the celebration of his life, we now have a memorial website for Paul.

It is www.paulcharris13.org.

Take some time and visit it! It will be a website that will evolve over the years. It will be the place that we post information related to events for his scholarship and endowment as well as a site where we can just keep his memory alive. If you have photos or video clips that you would like to see on it, please send them to hhtaylor44@aol.com or to charris858@aol.com. And if you have any stories or memories you would like to share on the site, please send them as well. We are so thankful to the person that helped make this happen for us! They are amazing and are so generous and caring!

We will continue updating CaringBridge for a while but soon we will start making updates solely on Paul\’s website. When we do, we will let you know.

In closing, on this Veteran\’s Day – Paul\’s birthday – I say thank you to those who have served and who do serve our country and I say Happy Birthday to my little brother in heaven – I love you!

This week has in some ways been harder than I thought it would be, but then again I should have expected the emotional waves to run high again, shouldn\’t I? The past two years I have pictured myself watching the waves of emotion, waiting and ready with my “body board”. I sometimes see the waves growing huge, coming at me like the great waves on the North Shore in Hawaii. I must jump on my body board and ride the waves, holding on and allowing the healing water to flow over me. If I don’t go for the ride, then I will get caught in the rip current of emotion and be pulled under.

Today was the two year anniversary of Paul’s passing. The waves of emotion were strong again, but we chose to ride them as a family honoring Paul’s memory and rejoicing in the blessings we have been given. We started early this morning by volunteering at the Southeastern Virginia Food Bank. We all went: Hillary, Jeff, Emily, Matt, Chuck and me. We worked hard…for others in memory of Paul. Hillary baked a ton of cookies this afternoon and I organized things for the evening picnic at the beach. Jeff, Matt, Emily, and Chuck worked at the soccer field cleaning up around the Paul Harris memorial, putting down fresh top soil and mulch.

Tonight we enjoyed the 2nd annual memorial picnic at the beach. The winds were too strong to have a candlelight time, but we celebrated Paul’s life with some of his favorite things: family, faithful friends, beautiful evening skies, the roar of the ocean, music, and tons of yummy food! About 50 people joined us sharing stories and memories of Paul, laughing and savoring each other’s companionship. We supported one another on a tough day. We loved each other and shared support as we each rode our own waves of emotion.

Tomorrow we will go to the cemetery and see the monument which was put into place on Thursday. It is another piece that is finished.

It is truly all about God’s mercy and grace shining through the darkness of sorrow. I could feel His presence as I watched the clouds racing by in the strong winds, as I listened to the laughter and chatter of friends and family, and as we prayed for our son whom we miss so much. I miss him so…always, but I am blessed. God has allowed me to see the stars shining in the darkness.

Cindy
In honor of my amazing family
In loving memory of Paul